I am brown skinned. My hair is kinky. I’m not thin, my nose is rounded and not pointy, and yes, when I am passionate about something, the target of my rant will undoubtedly be met with some sass. For all of these things, I make absolutely NO apologies. I don’t feel bad that I’m not skinny with a flat chest and a size two frame or tall with long wavy hair like a biracial woman. I am a “regular” black woman and guess what? I can still make some pretty babies.
Today I had a discussion with a friend of mine about black folk’s obsession with mating with non-black people for the purpose of “making some pretty babies”. If a potential love interest is fair skinned, has that “good, non-nappy hair”, or better yet – isn’t black at all, he or she suddenly moves up on the food chain of potential baby-making partners. I can’t help but be sad, hurt, disappointed, and disenfranchised to find that black folks still haven’t learned that we are enough on our own. Our beautiful skin hues, proud bodies, curves, and strong hair emit our power and reflect our unique beauty. How can that not produce pretty babies?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking anyone’s genuine love. It isn’t for me to say who folk should date, love, marry, and mate with because we honestly never know who we are going to love. What I am saying is choosing a mate out of hatred of oneself lends to nothing more than the perpetuation of that ill will and insecurity. As trite as it may sound, black is, and always will be, beautiful.
Whether one is fair skinned with curly hair or the darkest black with the strong kinky hair of our ancestors, we are beautiful. The decision to remain obsessed with color and race as a way to create better looking babies is nothing more than another example of the long lasting remnants of a slave mentality. Those before us were told black was subpar but the sooner we realize that we are beautiful, our love is beautiful, and the babies we create are beautiful, the better off we will be.
I guess the best way to tackle this issue individually is to tell every person I hear spew some self hating sentiments about only being able to make a pretty baby with a non-black partner that he or she needs to take a look around and see all the beauty we possess that far exceeds the surface.